One Year Older and Certainly No Wiser

Well, yesterday it happened. I turned 34. In the grand scheme of things, this isn't a major deal but when you were determined to be a size 10, have learnt a musical instrument, travelled the world and learnt a foreign language by the time you were 30, this is depressing to say the least.

Don't get me wrong, I have achieved things. Two beautiful children and all the stretchmarks to prove it. A wonderful husband who is more Frank Spencer than Frank Lampard. A beautiful home built by Charles Church who I consider to be more like cowboys than builders. And this is where I stop, for I have no career, no job, no hobbies, no nothing. This is why this morning when I awoke with a slightly foggy head from too much white wine with the neighbours, I realised that enough was enough.

My six year old son, Josh, summed it up in one sentence yesterday. "What do you want to be when you grow up, Mummy?" Ah yes, good question, however, at 34 one might think I should be grown up by now and yet still I have no idea what I want to 'be'. Somehow I thought I might be more than I am today. Granted I'm a pro at changing a nappy or balancing a child on one hip whilst making lunch with my own free hand and I'd defy you to beat me at manoevering round a busy Ikea store with the world's most impracticle 3 wheeler buggy (Jane)! But I could have sworn that I was meant for something greater.

As if getting older isn't bad enough, I also had to suffer all the kind messages on Facebook, all wishing me well and hoping I had a great day. This in itself isn't a problem, even I am not so grumpy that I can't smile at the thoughfulness. It's Facebook I object to. Like Friends Reunited it only serves one purpose, and that's to make you feel like a total numb nut! Friends who you once shared a sneaky cigarette in the memorial gardens with are now top executives, living abroad, conquering mountains and for all I know, about to discover a cure for cancer! Don't get me wrong, I love hearing from people and love that they've been so successful, I just kind of hoped they wouldn't ask the inevitable..."So, what are you up to these days?" Of course I try to make what I do sound infinitely more glamorous than it is. Navigating my way round the credit crunch is code for shopping in Iceland. Keeping up to date with current affairs is code for reading Heat magazine and finding out which celebs are cheating on their partners. Expanding my culinary repetoire is seeing just how many ready meals my family can eat in one month before the ping of the microwave sends them into total despair!

So this is why today I have decided to become one of the blogging masses. Today is the first day of the rest of my life and like a rather annoying ex boss once told me, "if it isn't logged, it never happened". He was of course referring to the endless cold calls we had to log to show that we were in fact working and not playing solitaire as he suspected, quite rightly actually but we never told him that!

So here is my to do list for the next year. From past experience I've learnt not to over sell and under achieve, in fact, it's far more gratifying to do the opposite. These are things even I should be able to conquer and if not, I'll come up with a jolly good excuse as to why I didn't!

Size 12
Visit Australia
Learn 10 useful phrases in Spanish (and be able to have them understood by a native)
Not buy so many bags (I have an addiction, it's not a problem for me but my husband is starting to despair somewhat)
Get a hobby (I did think buying bags was a hobby but my husband reliably informs me that it's not)

There. 5 things. How hard can it possibly be?